New beginnings!!

Should be fun right.

I can’t help but feel sad, at least right now as I am writing this. Don’t get me wrong, this manifestation of a new home came in fast. I had my ’’I’m done’’ moment and 2 days later, I got the place.

But

I’ve had so many changes and upgrades in the past like 4 years and time has flown by. Everything has happened fast and slow at the same time. Linear time is something completely else here.

In 4 years I have moved 5 times and all I want is a place that feels like home and i can happily live, a place that supports me in the season I am in. I am moving to such a place right now. Each of the homes have supported my growth and coming home to self. But I am at a point where I have ended so so many chapter in my life, that I am tired. Emotionally, physically. I am just tired!

In this season of my life I want ease, grace, flow, calmness, deep love and passion. And you have your own meaning to these words, but for me they represent the deepest Soul alignment, and living in that alignment. I think what I’ve lacked most in past years is passion. And by nature, I am a very passionate person. Everybody who deeply know me, know that when I am passionately in love with something, that flame is felt from a far. On the opposite end, when I am passionately Fucking over something, it is quite difficult to be around me. I’ve seen that through my whole life, it’s nothing new. But I know how powerful I am either way, creation or destruction. And in this season I want to passionately create. Feel passion in creation, in what I do and put out into the world, that would be a better way of describing how I feel. I’m done with not being connected to that part of me.

I also see that in order for me to naturally feel passionate, there are needs that need to be met, an environment to support me. For the past couple of months, something that has come up multiple times is the focus on needs and honoring ones needs. A deepest form of self-love.

This move to a new place manifested itself from passionately speaking out my needs. That is the polite way of saying it I guess. Actually, it was more of screaming and crying, but passionate none the less. But who said you only create with vision boards and happy thoughts.

Here is where this illusion is crushed, because energy is energy and the Universe where we burst out our energy doesn’t know the difference between good and bad, it speaks energy. In the moment where I passionately expressed my desires and wants. The energy wasn’t ’’a need’’ or a ’’complaint’’ it was loudly expressing desire. I might have cursed and yelled at my own belittlement, but I expressed a desire, the energy was a decision not like ’’if i don’t have it, then this means this or that about me’’ or a victim mentality based energy. In that moment I stood my ground and said FUCK THIS..why the fuck do I settle for what is aaalmost good enough, why am I not allowing myself to Express my sacred desire right the fuck now! Passion, fire!

I got the energy moving! I didn’t keep it in my body or my head anymore..it was free to be created.

I expressed my desire, freed it into the cosmos and the creation landed. I finally had let go of the how and said fuck it, this is what I want!

I guess the part of me that is sad, is the same part I’ve kept small these past years. Only shared my flame with the ones closest to me. I want to step out of that. I don’t yet know how, but that is why I’m giving myself a Fucking break so that the flame can show me the way itself.

Uh, I love words and I love energy! Such codes.

So here is to another new beginning I guess. The chapter where Karo can give herself a Fucking break and show the world what really a soul lead and authentic creation of life looks like. Spoiler, it involves all the human emotions! Sometimes it’s nasty and weird, sometimes it is magical and euphoric. I guess I just want to share how humanly I create with my Soul. I’m a Soul having a Human experience after all, sometimes it is raw like that.

Believe you me, sometimes it is weird for myself too, to acknowledge that I can give off fairy and goddess vibes and sometimes I am down in the dumps ripping open a shadow and crying my eyes out and then I’m doing galactic work again!

What does the Word passion mean to you? Do you maybe need to clean up the Word, so it can create magic in your life too?